Neighbours matter - Dr. Jenny May

“Getting old is a wretched business,” said one of my patients.

I sat back and thought about what we had negotiated and had to agree. We had, over the preceding 5 years had to jointly face:

• The death of her husband

• The decision to move off the farm

• The diagnosis of Alzheimer’s

• The decisions about managing arthritis

• and the pros and cons of operations with the hazards of anaesthetics and further loss of memory and function

• The agonies of deciding to hand in your driver’s licence

• The challenges of adult children with their own brushes with mortality

So many situations where the focus was on what should be done rather than what could be done.

But when she said it was wretched - I saw compassion and care that surrounded her with the value of living in a community that is subtly supporting. That is: doing the daily check-in, noting the blind is up every morning, mowing the nature strip and any untidy lawn, dropping off meals and locally grown produce. This support ensures both dignity and detail, and made me reflect that it’s a privilege living and working in a rural community. I’m part of that safety net of care and caring. This is neighbourliness which is not intrusive, not usurping but genuinely part of the team keeping this lady afloat.

Why do I live where I live? Because of a shared sense of community that values us all.